Bottled Up

Last week I went to my son's school to read a few books to his class. In the midst of a busy day filled with deadlines, meetings and lots of studying, the last thing I wanted to do was break away to hang with a bunch of first graders. However, as I walked through the door everything changed. As Calahan (that's my boy) noticed me, his face lit up like a firework. He began to point in my direction and tell his "boyz" that his dad was here. As we began our time together, I asked each of the students about their Christmas. They were pumped to share their favorite holiday gifts and experiences. When it was Cal's time to share, he nearly came off the ground as he told everyone that his favorite activity was playing his Nintendo Wii with his dad. By this time my attitude and outlook had been completely inverted. There was no other place I would rather be! I mean, everyone needs to experience that. It must be what Tiger Woods or Bono feel like when they slip in to surprise one of their biggest fans. But this feeling was not caused by a stranger. No, this came from my flesh and bone, my "little Jeremy", as Kelly calls him. I wished more than anything that I could bottle that up and save it for another time. It is truly a feeling like few others.

While driving back from the school I pondered what it must be like for my heavenly father to look at me with the joy and happiness the way I do toward my kids. He created us in his image and made us for his glory. And in spite of all our desires to run, hide and cover ourselves from him, he chooses to love us in ways we can't even comprehend. He chose to crush his "own" son so that I may be called his son (1 John 3:1). That is unbelievable! That is the gospel! That is true love! And that is why Paul calls it the most important thing (1 Corinthians 15:3).

I know that it will not always be like this. In fact, I am too often reminded of that as I work with over 300 teenagers on a weekly basis. I mean our students love their parents......but it's different. When their mom and dad walk in from work, our teens do not welcome them with cartwheels, high fives and family hugs. But that's ok too. I mean that is the way God intended it to be. It's a subtle reminder of how much he loves us and that even our kids are not really ours. That, they too, are created by him and for him and so if we are going to do our jobs well we must be pointing them to something other than ourselves. To help them wrestle with the mind-boggling truth that Jesus loves them far more than Mommy and Daddy. I have to admit those thoughts excite and scare me all the same. I definitely have some things to learn in the coming years of parenting. But for now, I will relish the rock star status I have among my two kids and keep trying to soak up the deep feelings of joy and happiness they bring to my life.